My nipple is on Facebook.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
