Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
