dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
