No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
