i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
