HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
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