Don't you send me to vm
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
