Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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