I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
