kristin has been a bad kristin
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
