Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
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