I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
