I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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