just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize