If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
