what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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