How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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