we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I need moral support for this bender
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
