marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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