haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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