Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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