the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
