Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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