3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
