how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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