mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
