your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
