I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
His nipple licking is glorious
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