Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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