Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
