But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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