I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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