no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
