I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
