capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
