brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
