Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
