who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize