New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
