At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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