Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
i out mim tonsoeep
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
