Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
