come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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