hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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