dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
He? As in you personified your dick?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize