trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
