Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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