glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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