she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
