I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
