Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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