I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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