I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
