he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
