your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
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