i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
