His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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