it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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