Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize