Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
