I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
