Whod you bang
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize