How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Sorry my hands just texted you
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
