dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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