he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
We left an ass print on the piano.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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