47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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