Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose

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(847): View more from Illinois

just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism

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(949): View more from California

just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."

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(801): View more from Utah

He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is

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(647): View more from Ontario

i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.

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(863): View more from Florida

In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate

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(1-417): View more from Missouri

I don't think you could pull off being mean.

(1-417): View more from Missouri

How do you think I'm still single?

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