It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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