This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
