Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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