it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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