is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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