Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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