We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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